F*ck, Marry, Spill with Vincenzo Errico of L'Arte Fatto on Ischia

Vol. 1: Aperol Spritz, Negroni, Americano

I’m not sure where this concept originated, but despite its crude name, Fuck, Marry, Kill is often lighthearted and humorous—an excuse for teasing or laughing with friends. The appeal lies in its simplicity—just three choices—and its mix of humor, shock value, and even philosophical introspection. (Who would you truly marry, and why?). During my New York City days, my friends and I, hungover as could be, would wander down to Chinatown for one thing only: xiao long bao at Joe's Shanghai. We’d sit at the round table, playing f*ck, marry, kill where the stranger diners at the table were the subjects of juice.

For Bitchen, I wanted to bring the game to life in a fun but learn-something kind of way and dive deeper into the world of all things liquids—featuring rotating guests and experts that I meet while traveling. First up: Vincenzo Errico of L'Arte Fatto on Ischia—a magical volcanic island in the Gulf of Naples, Italy.

F*ck, Marry, Spill rules:

Vol. 1: Aperol Spritz, Negroni, Americano

F*ck: Enjoy it while you have it.

Marry: Regular consumption.

Spill: Leave it behind.

I met Vincenzo Errico on Ischia, pre-summer 2022, through Alessandro Buono, who owns Distillerie Aragonesi—the island’s only craft distillery. I was supposed to stay just 24 hours, but Buono introduced me to a few interesting faces and places, including a small bar called L'ArteFatto, which kept me lingering longer.

At L'ArteFatto, Errico made me the best Americano I’ve ever had—in a pint glass, with great ice. It was everything I wanted in a cocktail: bitter, a little sweet from vermouth, and bubbly. He trained under legendary British barman, Dick Bradsell, creator of the Espresso Martini. While working at Milk & Honey, in New York City, Errico invented the now-popular Red Hook cocktail in 2003, which is a nod to both the Brooklyn and the Manhattan—but composed of rye whiskey as the base, paired with Punt e Mes (bitter Italian vermouth) and maraschino liqueur. It’s an instant crowd-pleaser!

Find out what stays and what goes, as told by Errico:

F*ck: Negroni

The Negroni is supposed to be an iconic Italian cocktail, but nowadays it has become like its inventor, Count Camillo, well-known around the globe. In fact, the Negroni is the most-sold cocktail in the world. It should be a three-ingredient cocktail, made with equal parts, but it is so famous that it now has many variations and twists—made by many different bartenders around the globe, bringing to it their personal touch.

“The Negroni is inconsistent, flexible, strong, dangerous, and sometimes even sexy, so it is the one that you want just to f*ck.

The Negroni is so well known that even its riffs are famous all over, becoming modern classics themselves. It has become one of the most flexible classic cocktails that we know. People play around with the recipe, changing the ingredients and how much to put in it, or play around with the technique, using methods like stir and strain, throwing, clarification, redistilling, percolation, pre-batching, infusion, etc. Or even varying the glass it is served in.

Marry: Americano

The Americano cocktail has many historical roots and even some different recipes, but to me, it is always Italian bitters, Italian vermouth (sweet vermouth, but not too sweet), soda, and a lemon twist.”

Some people think the Americano has no soda in the recipe, but I think it is a misunderstanding of its history. At the beginning of the 19th century, some of the bitters, vermouth, and aperitivo companies were serving their products in their bars—let’s say a mono-brand bar—straight from the bottles to the glasses. Almost all of those bars had an Americano bottled product. They used to serve it from the bottle to the glass without a mixer, just like the other products they served. The Americano cocktail is a different thing.

“Definitely marrying the Americano.”

Even if most people like to serve and drink the Americano in a rocks glass, the important thing is to serve it in a highball glass, like every drink mixed with soda, to concentrate the bubbles and ensure they don’t escape too fast, making it less fizzy too soon.”

When you build it, make sure to pour the ingredients from the lightest one to the heaviest, respecting their brix grade (sugar content). This way, the ingredients will mix together into a perfect color from the bottom to the top, with a balanced bitter, lightly sweet, lemony flavor.

Spill: Aperol Spritz

The Spritz isn’t a bad drink, but it’s a little too sweet for me, and if I had to choose a sparkling cocktail, more technically called a Royal, I would choose something different—and something without ice so I could better feel the bubbles. When customers ask for [an Aperol Spritz] at my bar, I never say no. But if they are Italians, I suggest they try something new since they can have a Spritz anywhere, even at home. If the customers are foreigners I’ll make it for them without blinking.

”But if you want a Spritz, it has to be perfect.”

A lot of ice, not just a few ice cubes floating around; a great prosecco must be used (it doesn’t have to be too sweet); and don’t go too heavy on the Aperol. It doesn’t have to be Aperol all the time. A Spritz can be made with Campari, Select, or even St-Germain. I only use soda when I mix white wine instead of prosecco, not to add dilution but to make it sparkling.

I am not a snobby bartender, and I’ll make any drink a customer asks me to make (almost any drink)—but I’ll never drink a Spritz at an aperitivo, to get drunk, to spoil a nice bottle of bubbles, or if I lose a bet. I only did it once, and it was for fun. I was in New York City, a little homesick, with American bartenders who had never heard of this cocktail. But since then, never again. ~VE

If you’re on Ischia, be sure to stop by L'artefatto for a cocktail (FYI: the Venetian spritz, with Select Aperitivo, is my favorite spritz). And I’m forever marrying the Americano. Stay tuned for Vol. 2 of F*ck, Marry, Spill soon.

xxJenn